1: The Call
We hope these blogs from one of our members will remind you that you are not alone and that others understand exactly what you are going through.
THE CALL changes your life. Mr. or Ms. So and so, you have cancer. POW — a big punch to the solar plexus!
And after you unfold from the fetal position you don’t remember curling yourself into, the games begin. You begin the process of scaring yourself silly. People die from cancer, don’t they? I don’t know anything about cancer! Where do I go? Who do I talk to?
Welcome to your first of many Oncology appointments. Ooh, Oncology, there’s your first new word. The waiting room is full of people with scarves or hats and no sideburns. That’s the telltale sign of chemo baldness vs. pattern baldness. And this is only the 1st stop.
You are barraged with a whole new vocabulary and dozens of acronyms. You are asked to make so many decisions on things you know nothing about. Now your head is exploding, and you may just be whimpering. Why didn’t I bring a tape recorder, instead of a family member who is hovering in the corner in shocked silence? I was lucky. I brought my sister. She took her job very seriously and took notes like a court stenographer.
And after an hour they say “would you like to schedule your treatments and surgery and possible reconstruction before you leave Mrs. C?” How on earth should I know? I’ve just entered an alternate universe!
But don’t you need to know the difference between a CAT scan, a PET scan, or an MRI scan? What is an ectomy vs. an otomy? What does stage 1, 2, 3, 4 mean? What is, in SITU, invasive? Do I even want to know what metastatic is? Why do they use radiation when radiation causes cancer? How do you live without the body parts they want to remove? If you're a woman, how much weight can you lose by removing said body parts? The list is endless. And that’s just in the first hour!
If you have a good doctor, he/she will tell you to stay off the internet. If you are a good patient, you will listen. My doctors gave me a few acceptable websites and I was careful to stick to them, the American Cancer Society website is a wealth of information. You hear about all the walks and relays and wonder where your money is going. Well as a cancer warrior (note the use of warrior, not patient or victim) and survivor, I can tell you they spend it well to help us. The other websites were hospital sites. For me it was Dana Farber Cancer Institute and Massachusetts General Hospital. Oh, did I mention that you should stay off the internet?
Unfortunately, every friend who can type sends you a link to an ominous cancer website. They mean well. And everyone has a war story about a cousin’s brother’s girlfriend who had what you have, only worse. Smile, nod your head, and forget everything they said. More about caregivers later.
