3. You Are Not Alone
We hope these blogs from one of our members will remind you that you are not alone and that others understand exactly what you are going through.
Speaking of those-who-have-been there, this is a perfect time to talk about support networks, because that is where you learn your survival tactics.
After you have been through the initial maze of surgeons, oncologists, and radiologists, you are feeling alone and put-upon. The hospital usually recommends one of their support groups. Unfortunately, they can be depressing. The last thing you need is a room full of people who feel sorry for themselves. Your family and friends are supportive and nurturing, BUT (big but) they do not know exactly how you feel. No one can know how you feel until they’ve gotten The Call. A good analogy is 9/11. It changed us forever. We now know that we are vulnerable to something terrible. It took our innocence. It may not defeat us, but it changed us.
If you are very lucky, you find a group of survivors with attitude. 3 days before I started chemo I was convinced to meet a Survivor Group. Of course I had to be dragged kicking and screaming. Who in their right mind wants anything to do with a cancer support group? But on that day, I met Survivors by the Sea and it changed my life. In one hour I wasn’t alone anymore. I had 20 friends who knew my questions, my fears and the answers.
SBTS is a group of incredibly strong, giving survivors, who take cancer “newbies” under their wing and help them get through treatment. They show the newbies, by example, that there is life after the diagnosis. But most of all they give themselves. No matter what combination of surgery and treatment, no matter what kind of cancer, you can talk to someone who has had the same experience. That person becomes a wealth of information. I was amazed to find there aren’t more groups like it.
Does your oncologist tell you that duct tape is the best thing for removing that itchy post buzz stubble? No they do not! Only another survivor can share that priceless advice. Does your radiologist tell you to buy cheap tank tops so the burn ointment doesn’t ruin your clothes? No they do not! Lemon drops for the metallic chemo taste? Why not skip any of your 3-4 anti-emetics and why, from experience? If you want to beat it and get on with your life, you need a survivor group, not a support group.
